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Disagree With Your Child's Coach? How To Handle, And When To Intervene

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This resource is from a case study in PCA Founder Jim Thompson’s (@JimThompson18) book, Positive Sports Parenting.

You’ve just finished watching your child’s third game of the season, and you already see a problem with the coach. He plays players in the wrong positions and makes bad strategic decisions. As a Second-Goal Parent®, what should you do?

Your main objective in this situation is to retain your Second-Goal focus. You are not the coach. You are not the athlete. You are a supporting player in this drama, so act your part and move to the background.

You might think about the Hippocratic Oath doctors take: Do no harm. Doctors do nothing if they think they might make things worse. The chances of you improving this situation by making strategic suggestions are very small, while the chances of making things worse for your child or for the team are significantly higher. Do no harm. Stay out of this.

Here’s what you can do:

  • Write on a piece of paper your strategic suggestions for how you think your child’s coach should handle the team. Put it in an envelope. On the outside of the envelope, write “For when I become the coach.” Put it in a safe place. Whatever you do, don’t give the suggestions to the coach.

  • Let your child have her own experience with this coach without you taking over.

To read the full response, including more ways to manage situations when you disagree with a coach and guidelines for when to intervene, download the book excerpt found below.

To purchase the entire Positive Sports Parenting book, and to learn more about other PCA books, click here.

These books are used in PCA’s live workshops. To learn more about our interactive parent workshops, click here.

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  • Type: PDF Document
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