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Coach Gives My Son "The Cold Shoulder"

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This resource stems from a question submitted to the Ask PCA blog. Responses come from our experts including PCA Trainers, who lead live group workshops for coaches, parents, administrators and student-athletes.

"My 16-year-old son has a new coach, who doesn't interact much with my son. He sees the coach coaching, talking to and joking with other players, but my son feels ignored and left out. Any insight?"

PCA Response by Al Adamsen, PCA Trainer-San Francisco
This experience is not uncommon, but the good news is that the situation may provide a growth opportunity for your son.

Coaches of 16-year-olds competing at a high level often believe their primary goal is to get talented players to the next level. We at PCA, however, believe a coach's primary goal is to facilitate learning for all team members, individually and as a group, in terms of both goals of a Double-Goal Coach®: winning, and the second, more-important goal of life lessons through sports.

If your son shares with his coach, privately, how he feels in a forthright, courageous way, it'll likely earn him the attention he deserves and help the coach improve. To improve the chances that the coach is open to your son's feedback, your son may take some elements of the approach found in this full article below.

Download a printable version of this resource, including any additional commentary from PCA, by clicking the PDF below. To read more questions and answers like this, or to submit your own question to the Ask PCA blog, click here.

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